Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
