I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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