worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
