There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
