my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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