Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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