Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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