operation have a gay friend backfired
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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