Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
