I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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