last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
