I need help removing her.
I think I won the penis lottery.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
