sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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