Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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