I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I will be naked everywhere
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
