you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize