i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
