Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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