Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
