I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The struggles of a small town man whore
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
