New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
3pm strippers are depressing
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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