Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
