I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
