The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
