i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
