She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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