Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize