Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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