Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She bit a glass in half.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
