Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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