How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
