theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
