Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You made out with two different species that night
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
