You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
