Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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