Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.

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(818): View more from California

Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.

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(425): View more from Washington

Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.

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