You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
