guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i think i have herpe
just one?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
