So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
