I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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