she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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