the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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