god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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