Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
