I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
