I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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