so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
