Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
