shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
