$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
