His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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