Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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