you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
