just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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