I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
