apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
