I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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