i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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