so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize